Journal Entry 10

March 8, 2007

Chapter 10. Chemical Examination

"... And now I also know that I can save myself if I become a Specialist, and that I will become a Specialist if I pass a chemistry exam." (pg. 103)

I can already see the foreshadowing of Primo's life. Being a chemist already gave him special advantages over other laborers. It's ironic that although Levi knew passing the chemical examination would be beneficial, he felt a short desire to disappear and not take the exam (pg.105). I wonder why ... I wonder what was pulling him back from it... I predict that this thought went on for only a few seconds, but in that small moment, what was it that made him doubt? If I was Primo, I probably would have been desperate to take the test. I would have done all I can to take the examination so I can gain hope.

I'm guessing he wanted to disappear because he was just over exhausted with everything around him. Even though his mind knew what the right thing was, his heart just felt heavy and purposeless. I've felt this way many times where the mind and heart play two seperate roles. It normally happens when I want to forget something in the past. I realized that the more I try to forget it, the greater I was reminded of it. Therefore, despite the fact that Primo was well aware of the exam, he didn't seem to want to use the strength inside of him to even THINK (thinking can be a type of work).