Monday, February 5, 2007
Journal Entry 0
February 6, 2007
Documentary Response
Unbelievable - as if every single word, sentence, and paragraph of the survivors who were in this documentary was fictional. The pictures and video of this 'unhumanistic' place Auswitchz seemed like a total lie, and even towards the end of the film, my emotion was left stunned and petrified. The concentration camp was a like a human factory. Supposedly 'humans' are to be the resources transported into the factory, but in the end, no products are produced. There is absolutely no gain or profit. It's almost like half of a factory, where it only transports in goods, but does not export them back out. Imagine the fate of millions of innocent people driven to be burned, shot, and buried ... For some strange reason, I consistently tried to deny the fact that all of what I saw was TRUE. The nerves inside my body wanted to reject this reality of random slaughter. This is how 'real' and calamitous Auswitchz was .. something that nobody wants to ever remember...
Watching the documentary was worst than watching a horror movie. Typically, when I watch a scary movie, I enjoy the suspense or horror for the full two hours; however, soon that slight amusement would vanish. Although the documentary didn't include bloody-red scenes or ghosts as in scary movies, I felt something - an irresistable force approaching my soul. It was different. There were more deeper levels of emotions - a kind of sympathy as well as abhorrence that stirred in my heart. My mind kept repeating 'WHY WHY WHY!" It's an irony of what men are capable of doing ...
The extermination of the Jews were more than a murder; it was an appalling crime against humanity. It seemed like a lottery, where people were randomly chosen to be killed. If you weren't of the 'Aryan' race, then you were considered to be impure. The reason a person was taken to a concentration camp was not because he was a terrorist or because he was a frightening threat to the Germans, but only because of his race. The adversary was the blood inside him. These people had no hope or future. They not only starved for food but also for human kindess.
Where could such disdain and hatred come from? Where in the world can such bigotry set its roots in? Indeed, this was the worst thing that can happen to humanity. This incident was more than a suffering to the survivors. It was hell. It's a memory that cannot be erased or deleted. Every scenary of this camp is engraved into their hearts, which left a terrible scar. I don't know even if I could ever forget this trauma ... I know I can never fully understand what went on in the camps, but one thing I definitely know is that this catastrophe was a thousand times worse than any of the adversities I've been through in my life. And that explains almost everything.
Documentary Response
Unbelievable - as if every single word, sentence, and paragraph of the survivors who were in this documentary was fictional. The pictures and video of this 'unhumanistic' place Auswitchz seemed like a total lie, and even towards the end of the film, my emotion was left stunned and petrified. The concentration camp was a like a human factory. Supposedly 'humans' are to be the resources transported into the factory, but in the end, no products are produced. There is absolutely no gain or profit. It's almost like half of a factory, where it only transports in goods, but does not export them back out. Imagine the fate of millions of innocent people driven to be burned, shot, and buried ... For some strange reason, I consistently tried to deny the fact that all of what I saw was TRUE. The nerves inside my body wanted to reject this reality of random slaughter. This is how 'real' and calamitous Auswitchz was .. something that nobody wants to ever remember...
Watching the documentary was worst than watching a horror movie. Typically, when I watch a scary movie, I enjoy the suspense or horror for the full two hours; however, soon that slight amusement would vanish. Although the documentary didn't include bloody-red scenes or ghosts as in scary movies, I felt something - an irresistable force approaching my soul. It was different. There were more deeper levels of emotions - a kind of sympathy as well as abhorrence that stirred in my heart. My mind kept repeating 'WHY WHY WHY!" It's an irony of what men are capable of doing ...
The extermination of the Jews were more than a murder; it was an appalling crime against humanity. It seemed like a lottery, where people were randomly chosen to be killed. If you weren't of the 'Aryan' race, then you were considered to be impure. The reason a person was taken to a concentration camp was not because he was a terrorist or because he was a frightening threat to the Germans, but only because of his race. The adversary was the blood inside him. These people had no hope or future. They not only starved for food but also for human kindess.
Where could such disdain and hatred come from? Where in the world can such bigotry set its roots in? Indeed, this was the worst thing that can happen to humanity. This incident was more than a suffering to the survivors. It was hell. It's a memory that cannot be erased or deleted. Every scenary of this camp is engraved into their hearts, which left a terrible scar. I don't know even if I could ever forget this trauma ... I know I can never fully understand what went on in the camps, but one thing I definitely know is that this catastrophe was a thousand times worse than any of the adversities I've been through in my life. And that explains almost everything.
Journal Entry 1
February 11, 2007
Chapter 1. The Journey
I wonder what it would be like ... a journey toward nothingness ...
Primo Levi used many similes and images to portray his journey - a journey not only to Auschwitz but also toward his 'unfelt' emotions, struggles that are indescribable with words, horror that is unimaginable with our minds. He believes that even what he went through isn't enough to tell the story of such atrocity. Those who've been in the gas chambers, those who are burned to ashes, those who were shot knew the true journey of being in Auschwitz.
The fear among the survivors were incredible; to the point where each individual became numb to the fear around them. This 'numb' fear led to the knowing of death, which later became the Primo Levi's key to his survival in Auschwitz. His acceptance of a hopless future enabled him to withstand the absurdities in the camp. He lived everyday like he would die tomorrow, which made him less vulnerable to insanity.
I'm still unconcious to the things that happened - to the words that are translated in this book. How could anyone allow such thing to happen? The Holocaust not only reveals the mistakes of the Nazis, but it also reveals the darkness of mankind. We can be so manipulative. It's funny how many of us try to appear noble outwardly, but carry such treacherous intentions inwardly. We might state, "I'm striving toward happiness," but sometimes I ponder whether or not our real ambitions are for success and fame.
It's astounding to read just the first part of the book. The Journey ... If I am so awestruck by the first chapter, I wonder how worse things would get towards the end of the reading. If I was told that my last destination was to 'nowhere' would I have lived life the way I'm living it right now? Would my attitude in the journey towards a vision have remained the same? Of course not. Through reading, I'm overly thankful for the things that are given to me, for the security of being home, and for knowing that my life has a purpose.
Chapter 1. The Journey
I wonder what it would be like ... a journey toward nothingness ...
Primo Levi used many similes and images to portray his journey - a journey not only to Auschwitz but also toward his 'unfelt' emotions, struggles that are indescribable with words, horror that is unimaginable with our minds. He believes that even what he went through isn't enough to tell the story of such atrocity. Those who've been in the gas chambers, those who are burned to ashes, those who were shot knew the true journey of being in Auschwitz.
The fear among the survivors were incredible; to the point where each individual became numb to the fear around them. This 'numb' fear led to the knowing of death, which later became the Primo Levi's key to his survival in Auschwitz. His acceptance of a hopless future enabled him to withstand the absurdities in the camp. He lived everyday like he would die tomorrow, which made him less vulnerable to insanity.
I'm still unconcious to the things that happened - to the words that are translated in this book. How could anyone allow such thing to happen? The Holocaust not only reveals the mistakes of the Nazis, but it also reveals the darkness of mankind. We can be so manipulative. It's funny how many of us try to appear noble outwardly, but carry such treacherous intentions inwardly. We might state, "I'm striving toward happiness," but sometimes I ponder whether or not our real ambitions are for success and fame.
It's astounding to read just the first part of the book. The Journey ... If I am so awestruck by the first chapter, I wonder how worse things would get towards the end of the reading. If I was told that my last destination was to 'nowhere' would I have lived life the way I'm living it right now? Would my attitude in the journey towards a vision have remained the same? Of course not. Through reading, I'm overly thankful for the things that are given to me, for the security of being home, and for knowing that my life has a purpose.
Journal Entry 2
February 25, 2007
Chapter 2. On the Bottom
A sign on the door of the concentration camp said, "Work gives freedom" ... This phrase is ironic because the two words imply opposite meanings. Work gives an impression of labor whereas freedom gives an impression of relaxation. If work gave freedom, I predicted that the conditions of the camp was harsh and brutal. This prediction was proven to be correct when reading through this paragraph.
* Then for the first time we became aware that our language lacks words to express this offence, the demolition of a man. In a moment, with almost prophetic intuition, the reality was revealed to us: we had reached the bottom. It is not possible to sink lower than this; no human condition is more miserable than this, nor could it conceivably be so.
If there wasn't enough words to describe the horrific conditions of the camp, what more is there to say?
I was scared and stunned by the fact that nothing was left of them but their naked body and the work they had to do in order to obtain freedom. It already seemed as though their spirits had died out and had long gone where it belonged... Being on the bottom was having a body that is not even yours...
This chapter shows a better understanding of Primo Levi's character. He mentions that whoever believes that they will survive is mad. This implies that HOPE was not a possibility in the concentration camp. Primo Levi's way of survival was accepting everything that may come to him - even death. He lived everyday expecting nothing and believing in nothing. This is hard to imagine because I've never been in his shoes. The more simplistic you were, there was a better chance of survival. In the torturing experience, Levi found that everything was useful, and so I learned to appreciate many of the my values.
Chapter 2. On the Bottom
A sign on the door of the concentration camp said, "Work gives freedom" ... This phrase is ironic because the two words imply opposite meanings. Work gives an impression of labor whereas freedom gives an impression of relaxation. If work gave freedom, I predicted that the conditions of the camp was harsh and brutal. This prediction was proven to be correct when reading through this paragraph.
* Then for the first time we became aware that our language lacks words to express this offence, the demolition of a man. In a moment, with almost prophetic intuition, the reality was revealed to us: we had reached the bottom. It is not possible to sink lower than this; no human condition is more miserable than this, nor could it conceivably be so.
If there wasn't enough words to describe the horrific conditions of the camp, what more is there to say?
I was scared and stunned by the fact that nothing was left of them but their naked body and the work they had to do in order to obtain freedom. It already seemed as though their spirits had died out and had long gone where it belonged... Being on the bottom was having a body that is not even yours...
This chapter shows a better understanding of Primo Levi's character. He mentions that whoever believes that they will survive is mad. This implies that HOPE was not a possibility in the concentration camp. Primo Levi's way of survival was accepting everything that may come to him - even death. He lived everyday expecting nothing and believing in nothing. This is hard to imagine because I've never been in his shoes. The more simplistic you were, there was a better chance of survival. In the torturing experience, Levi found that everything was useful, and so I learned to appreciate many of the my values.
Journal Entry 3
February 26, 2007
Chapter 3. Initiation
Initiation means the start or beginning. This chapter showed the entrance of Primo Levi to a new world where everday was a 'daily hallucination' in which one became accustomed to. This thought is scary because being adjusted to such extreme condition might mean that there is something mentally wrong with the person. It is not normal to come to the point where sleepiness is masked by a state of tension and anxiety.
The most memorable part of this chapter was when Primo Levi said that they were like slaves. It's so hard to understand his statement because I've never been deprived of every right. This implies that the people in Auschwitz basically treated as beasts - similar to a chicken farm where the chickes are put into cages, grown, and butchered. Although 'initiation' means beginning, it is in someway the end. It may have been the start of sincere misery; however, it is the end to having the life of a human. It touched me when he mentions that one must want to survive to tell the story of what really happened in these camps. This foreshadows the future destination of Primo Levi because he became the bear witness of the 'Initiation.'
Journal Entry 4
March 1, 2007
Chapter 4. Ka-Be
Without having read the chapter, I thought that the title "Ka-Be" was a name of a person in charge; like an SS soldier. However, it meant something totally different from my expectations. Ka-Be was an abbreviation for an infirmary in the concentration camps. I was not disappointed.
Primo Levi said that the life of Ka-Be is a life of uncertainty. I didn't know what this was supposed to mean at first. I thought that being at the Ka-Be was better than working grueling hours out in the rain and sun. Reading through the paragraph, I realized that since there were more time doing nothing, life seemed more uncertain. 'Nothingness' was a scary thing, although it may have sound better than working. Probably just straight from my mind, I would have prefered to be in the Ka-Be; however, now I disagree. I've even experienced that 'silence' can be creepy - really haunting. It makes you think things you don't want to think about - like memories and unwanted stories. There use to be a time when I was so busy with school work, I didn't have much time to think about things. However, once that period was over, stress that I never imagined took away my focus from life. Because of the silence, so many things began to speak to me ... voices from 'who knows where'...
Primo Levi probably felt like I did, but to a greater extent. My experience cannot be compared to the life that he went through because it's nothing as close as to his misery.
Journal Entry 5
March 2, 2007
Chapter 5. Our Nights
"Adaption" was a real important component of survivng. Trying to change the given conditions was impossible; therefore, being able to adapt to awkward and unwanted situations was the best way. When I think of adaption, it gives me sense of instinctiveness and naturality. However, based on the content, adaption at the camp was not a gradual process of changing over time, but it was a forced requirement in a short period of time. I guess in some ways adaptaion can be something that occurs in a small amount of time, but it still seems quite strange to me. Being forced to adapt, or else die - is that really justifiable?
The nights were not easy or comforting. The people had to even adjust to the night time. Since there weren't enough rooms, two people had to share one bed, but if lucky not. Sleeping a certain way and trying not to think too much were the two hardest tasks to overcome at night. I thought that exhaustion from the day's work would have deprived them of thinking because usually when I'm really tired, I would fall asleep right away. However, it was different for their case. Every night would be a struggle to fight, just as life at the camp was like war.
Memorable passage:
One can hear the sleepers breathing and snoring; some groan and speak. many lick their ilps and
move their jaws. They are dreaming of eating; this is also a collective dream.
It is a pitiless dream which the creator of the Tantalus myth must have known. You not only see the
food, you feel it in your hands, distinct and concrete, you are aware of its rich and striking smell... Then
the dream disolves and breaks up into elements...every night and for the whole of our sleep.
Journal Entry 6
March 3, 2007
Chapter 6. The Work
I was able to reflect back to some of the unnecessary complaints in my life. It' s funny how easily we get frustrated by considerably tiny things, such as a rainy day, homework, or untasty food. Many of us seem to have poor attitudes toward the things that are given to us. We lack gratitude and consideration because we have all have the tendency to 'want' more things - greediness. If we were deprived of wordly things - things that are required to live a healthy life - then how would we ever survive? I bet if we were put into the concentration camps, most of us wouldn't be able to survive. I dare not say "I'm definitely going to survive!" because I know that would never be possible (after having read through this chapter). The work at the camp was draining and endless. Levi says that there is no time to think about the afternoon, which sort of implies that there is no hope for the future.
Sometimes I wonder if I have too many things. Wealth tends to blind a person from seeing small but important things around him. Money can lead to better conditions, but it can also lead to a dead end, where a person fails to realize true happiness. This chapter was insightful because I was able to think once again about some of things that I should be thankful for ... Many of the work given to me from school, parents, or other places cannot be compared to any of the things Primo Levi went through in Auschwitz. I wonder how tormenting it would have been, and it brings me a feeling of hopelessness.
Chapter 6. The Work
I was able to reflect back to some of the unnecessary complaints in my life. It' s funny how easily we get frustrated by considerably tiny things, such as a rainy day, homework, or untasty food. Many of us seem to have poor attitudes toward the things that are given to us. We lack gratitude and consideration because we have all have the tendency to 'want' more things - greediness. If we were deprived of wordly things - things that are required to live a healthy life - then how would we ever survive? I bet if we were put into the concentration camps, most of us wouldn't be able to survive. I dare not say "I'm definitely going to survive!" because I know that would never be possible (after having read through this chapter). The work at the camp was draining and endless. Levi says that there is no time to think about the afternoon, which sort of implies that there is no hope for the future.
Sometimes I wonder if I have too many things. Wealth tends to blind a person from seeing small but important things around him. Money can lead to better conditions, but it can also lead to a dead end, where a person fails to realize true happiness. This chapter was insightful because I was able to think once again about some of things that I should be thankful for ... Many of the work given to me from school, parents, or other places cannot be compared to any of the things Primo Levi went through in Auschwitz. I wonder how tormenting it would have been, and it brings me a feeling of hopelessness.
Journal Entry 7
March 4, 2008
Chapter 7. A Good Day
The conviction that life has a purpose is rooted in every fibre of man, it is a property of the human susbstance. Free men give many names to this purpose, and think and talk a lot about its nature. But for us the question is simpler.
Our standard of having a 'good day' seems very different from Primo Levi's standard. Many people expect or more so DESIRE for a good day, but I wonder what is exactly a good day? How long is a good day suppose to last? Based on the passage that is italicized above, 'purpose' is the substance for every human. All of us are searching for a purpose in life. Although some tend to be excessivly enthusiastic, many of us just live our lives hoping that someday a lightning bolt would come down and the 'purpose of our life' would be in front of our door. However, this concept is wrong. We overly struggle to obtain happiness by expecting good things to happen in our lives, but I've learned that happiness can be obtained from the way we think. Simply a 'good day' can be few hours or even few minutes. The real importance of it is wheter or not we are able to appreciate it and take it into consideration. Happiness is not an everlasting time period (though many of us wish it was), but it is the small things that we value and treasure that is considere true happiness. God or Satan might challenge us with hardship, but we must endure it and think optimisitically. Buna was essentially opaque and grey, but Primo Levi called 'today' a good day because of the sunlight. This, to me, was a powerful message.
Chapter 7. A Good Day
The conviction that life has a purpose is rooted in every fibre of man, it is a property of the human susbstance. Free men give many names to this purpose, and think and talk a lot about its nature. But for us the question is simpler.
Our standard of having a 'good day' seems very different from Primo Levi's standard. Many people expect or more so DESIRE for a good day, but I wonder what is exactly a good day? How long is a good day suppose to last? Based on the passage that is italicized above, 'purpose' is the substance for every human. All of us are searching for a purpose in life. Although some tend to be excessivly enthusiastic, many of us just live our lives hoping that someday a lightning bolt would come down and the 'purpose of our life' would be in front of our door. However, this concept is wrong. We overly struggle to obtain happiness by expecting good things to happen in our lives, but I've learned that happiness can be obtained from the way we think. Simply a 'good day' can be few hours or even few minutes. The real importance of it is wheter or not we are able to appreciate it and take it into consideration. Happiness is not an everlasting time period (though many of us wish it was), but it is the small things that we value and treasure that is considere true happiness. God or Satan might challenge us with hardship, but we must endure it and think optimisitically. Buna was essentially opaque and grey, but Primo Levi called 'today' a good day because of the sunlight. This, to me, was a powerful message.
Journal Entry 8
March 5, 2007
Chapter 8. The Side of Good and Evil
A memorable passage:
We now invite the reader to contemplate the possible meaning in the Lager of the worlds 'good' and 'evil', 'just' and 'unjust'; let everybody judge, on the basis of the picture we have outlined and of the examples given above, how much of our ordinary moral world could survive on this side of the barbed wire.
Some of the things in Auzwitchz was considered 'good' or 'necessary', such as stealing without getting caught by a guard. If you were an apt thief, there was a higher chance that you won't starve. Based on Christian standards, this act would be considered sin. I don't know how others may think, but for me, if I steal something from someone, I feel guilty; if someone steals something from me, I feel bad. Not only is this a Christian standard, but it seems like a universal standard (almost). Most of the countries in the world restricted a law based on robbery. Knowing that stealing is surely not something good, I wondered could the life behind thos barbed wires be a totally different life; a life that is nothing in comparison with the world right now - something like an exotic life. This leads to the questions: Should Auschwitz be categorized as its own alienated world?
I really think that the agony behind those barbed wires would have been something that we could never understand. This is something that I've repeatedly mentioned throughout my journal entries. It's easy to read and comprehend incidents that happened during the time in Auschwitz, but no matter how hard we try to understand it, it would be nothing close to how Primo Levi remembers it.
Chapter 8. The Side of Good and Evil
A memorable passage:
We now invite the reader to contemplate the possible meaning in the Lager of the worlds 'good' and 'evil', 'just' and 'unjust'; let everybody judge, on the basis of the picture we have outlined and of the examples given above, how much of our ordinary moral world could survive on this side of the barbed wire.
Some of the things in Auzwitchz was considered 'good' or 'necessary', such as stealing without getting caught by a guard. If you were an apt thief, there was a higher chance that you won't starve. Based on Christian standards, this act would be considered sin. I don't know how others may think, but for me, if I steal something from someone, I feel guilty; if someone steals something from me, I feel bad. Not only is this a Christian standard, but it seems like a universal standard (almost). Most of the countries in the world restricted a law based on robbery. Knowing that stealing is surely not something good, I wondered could the life behind thos barbed wires be a totally different life; a life that is nothing in comparison with the world right now - something like an exotic life. This leads to the questions: Should Auschwitz be categorized as its own alienated world?
I really think that the agony behind those barbed wires would have been something that we could never understand. This is something that I've repeatedly mentioned throughout my journal entries. It's easy to read and comprehend incidents that happened during the time in Auschwitz, but no matter how hard we try to understand it, it would be nothing close to how Primo Levi remembers it.
Journal Entry 9
March 7, 2007
Chapter 9. The Drowned and the Saved
Passage:
Thousands of individuals, differing in age, condition, origin, language, culture and customs, are enclosed within barbed wire: there they live a regular, controlled life which is identical for all and inadequate to all needs, and which is more rigorous than any experimenter could have set up to establish what is essential and what adventitious to the conduct of human animal in the struggle for life. (pg. 87)
I enjoy watching horror movies or thrill movies. People find that quite awkward. Sometimes I'm even astounded by the excitement I get out of horror or thrill movies. Fear and darkness are distinctively portrayed from these type of movies, and knowing that, I still find it interesting to view. Saw 1 is one of the most thought-provoking yet exciting movies I've seen so far. It is definitiely violent and cruel. It is about a murder who doesn't actually murder his victims. He plays games with his victims; kind of like an experiment. He tests the limits of how much men are crazy for survival and how desperate men become when they are faced with death.
An example:
The murderer would tie the first man alive to the ground so that he isn't able to use any of his limbs. Then he would force the man to swallow a key. A second man is waken up in a room where a timer has been set to explode in several minutes. The only tool he is given is a knife, and there is the first man still 'alive' lying on the floor. The only way for the second man to survive is to rip open the stomach of the first man and dig for the keys in his intestine. Guess what happened... The second man was driven insane and he ripped open the stomach of the first man alive and found the keys between his intestines and unlocked the bomb.
In this chapter, we can relate the movie to Auschwitz. Through facts we know that the establishment of Auschwitz and the purpose for it is to terminate Jews and other non-Aryan race; however, there seems to be something more deeper the Germans wanted to test. They wanted to observe the conduct of the human animal in the struggle for life. This shows that the Jews, Haftlinge, or other prisoners were considered to be tools. It's amazing of what men are capable of doing ... It surprises me the indifferent attitudes of the Germans towards other race. How is this possible?
Chapter 9. The Drowned and the Saved
Passage:
Thousands of individuals, differing in age, condition, origin, language, culture and customs, are enclosed within barbed wire: there they live a regular, controlled life which is identical for all and inadequate to all needs, and which is more rigorous than any experimenter could have set up to establish what is essential and what adventitious to the conduct of human animal in the struggle for life. (pg. 87)
I enjoy watching horror movies or thrill movies. People find that quite awkward. Sometimes I'm even astounded by the excitement I get out of horror or thrill movies. Fear and darkness are distinctively portrayed from these type of movies, and knowing that, I still find it interesting to view. Saw 1 is one of the most thought-provoking yet exciting movies I've seen so far. It is definitiely violent and cruel. It is about a murder who doesn't actually murder his victims. He plays games with his victims; kind of like an experiment. He tests the limits of how much men are crazy for survival and how desperate men become when they are faced with death.
An example:
The murderer would tie the first man alive to the ground so that he isn't able to use any of his limbs. Then he would force the man to swallow a key. A second man is waken up in a room where a timer has been set to explode in several minutes. The only tool he is given is a knife, and there is the first man still 'alive' lying on the floor. The only way for the second man to survive is to rip open the stomach of the first man and dig for the keys in his intestine. Guess what happened... The second man was driven insane and he ripped open the stomach of the first man alive and found the keys between his intestines and unlocked the bomb.
In this chapter, we can relate the movie to Auschwitz. Through facts we know that the establishment of Auschwitz and the purpose for it is to terminate Jews and other non-Aryan race; however, there seems to be something more deeper the Germans wanted to test. They wanted to observe the conduct of the human animal in the struggle for life. This shows that the Jews, Haftlinge, or other prisoners were considered to be tools. It's amazing of what men are capable of doing ... It surprises me the indifferent attitudes of the Germans towards other race. How is this possible?
Journal Entry 10
March 8, 2007
Chapter 10. Chemical Examination
"... And now I also know that I can save myself if I become a Specialist, and that I will become a Specialist if I pass a chemistry exam." (pg. 103)
I can already see the foreshadowing of Primo's life. Being a chemist already gave him special advantages over other laborers. It's ironic that although Levi knew passing the chemical examination would be beneficial, he felt a short desire to disappear and not take the exam (pg.105). I wonder why ... I wonder what was pulling him back from it... I predict that this thought went on for only a few seconds, but in that small moment, what was it that made him doubt? If I was Primo, I probably would have been desperate to take the test. I would have done all I can to take the examination so I can gain hope.
I'm guessing he wanted to disappear because he was just over exhausted with everything around him. Even though his mind knew what the right thing was, his heart just felt heavy and purposeless. I've felt this way many times where the mind and heart play two seperate roles. It normally happens when I want to forget something in the past. I realized that the more I try to forget it, the greater I was reminded of it. Therefore, despite the fact that Primo was well aware of the exam, he didn't seem to want to use the strength inside of him to even THINK (thinking can be a type of work).
Chapter 10. Chemical Examination
"... And now I also know that I can save myself if I become a Specialist, and that I will become a Specialist if I pass a chemistry exam." (pg. 103)
I can already see the foreshadowing of Primo's life. Being a chemist already gave him special advantages over other laborers. It's ironic that although Levi knew passing the chemical examination would be beneficial, he felt a short desire to disappear and not take the exam (pg.105). I wonder why ... I wonder what was pulling him back from it... I predict that this thought went on for only a few seconds, but in that small moment, what was it that made him doubt? If I was Primo, I probably would have been desperate to take the test. I would have done all I can to take the examination so I can gain hope.
I'm guessing he wanted to disappear because he was just over exhausted with everything around him. Even though his mind knew what the right thing was, his heart just felt heavy and purposeless. I've felt this way many times where the mind and heart play two seperate roles. It normally happens when I want to forget something in the past. I realized that the more I try to forget it, the greater I was reminded of it. Therefore, despite the fact that Primo was well aware of the exam, he didn't seem to want to use the strength inside of him to even THINK (thinking can be a type of work).
Journal Entry 12
March 9, 2007
Chapter 12. The Events of the Summer
" ... there still existed a just world outside our own, something and someone still pure and whole, not savage, extraneous to hatred and terror; something difficult to define, a remote possibility of good, but for which it was worth surviving. "
Through Lorenzo, Primo Levi managed not to forget that he was still a man. Lorenzo's pureness from the world of negation was why Levi felt that way. Lorenzo in the story symbolizes hope and balance that Levi needed to survive. Although Levi knew that trying to read the future was a waste, the fact that he was able to identify himself as a human seems to be the reason he survived. Based on the italicized passage above, I wonder even if now there is a world that is pure and whole. I believe that every single person is seeking for 'trueness'. We are always looking for something better and something that exceeds our limits. This indeed is the nature of human beings. However, the camps blocked men from desiring and hoping for a future, and so I can see why Lorenzo was a significant figure in Levi's life.
If I relate the passage to my life, I believe it is the eternal life that makes me strive to become a good person. The guarantee belief in a living God and knowing that heaven exists gives me hope to live on earth and be confident. If only the men in the camps knew of this, I wonder how the story would have changed. If all of the men in Auschwitz knew that there was a God can give them eternal life - a life of true pureness - would men have feared and died hopelessly?
Chapter 12. The Events of the Summer
" ... there still existed a just world outside our own, something and someone still pure and whole, not savage, extraneous to hatred and terror; something difficult to define, a remote possibility of good, but for which it was worth surviving. "
Through Lorenzo, Primo Levi managed not to forget that he was still a man. Lorenzo's pureness from the world of negation was why Levi felt that way. Lorenzo in the story symbolizes hope and balance that Levi needed to survive. Although Levi knew that trying to read the future was a waste, the fact that he was able to identify himself as a human seems to be the reason he survived. Based on the italicized passage above, I wonder even if now there is a world that is pure and whole. I believe that every single person is seeking for 'trueness'. We are always looking for something better and something that exceeds our limits. This indeed is the nature of human beings. However, the camps blocked men from desiring and hoping for a future, and so I can see why Lorenzo was a significant figure in Levi's life.
If I relate the passage to my life, I believe it is the eternal life that makes me strive to become a good person. The guarantee belief in a living God and knowing that heaven exists gives me hope to live on earth and be confident. If only the men in the camps knew of this, I wonder how the story would have changed. If all of the men in Auschwitz knew that there was a God can give them eternal life - a life of true pureness - would men have feared and died hopelessly?
Journal Entry 13
March 10, 2007
Chapter 13. October 1944
Lottery: any happening or process that is or appears to be determined by chance. (dictionary.com)
I found that the chapter was captivating because I didn't feel any distinct emotion. I knew I was supposed to feel scared, just as anyone would when death knocked at their door; however, for some reason I felt that the process of selection was strange yet familiar. I knew I felt pity and sorrow, but it wasn't the same feeling as seeing a poor person on a street. I'm predicting the reason I am not feeling any solid emotion is because many complex feelings are mixed up in my mind - my brain is trying to sort out emotions.
" The SS man, in the fraction of a second between two succesive crossings, with a glance at one's back and front, judges everyone's fate, and in turn gives the card to the man on his right or his left, and this is the life or death of each of us." (pg. 128)
The reason I felt familiar to context was because the processing of selecting seemed a lot like lottery. It didn't matter if a man was nice or if the man was mean ... the man was given a 50/50 chance of being chosen to die or live. It's like flipping a coin, and whatever side comes out, you die or you live. This leads me to the question: who were they to determine the life and death of another human being?
Chapter 13. October 1944
Lottery: any happening or process that is or appears to be determined by chance. (dictionary.com)
I found that the chapter was captivating because I didn't feel any distinct emotion. I knew I was supposed to feel scared, just as anyone would when death knocked at their door; however, for some reason I felt that the process of selection was strange yet familiar. I knew I felt pity and sorrow, but it wasn't the same feeling as seeing a poor person on a street. I'm predicting the reason I am not feeling any solid emotion is because many complex feelings are mixed up in my mind - my brain is trying to sort out emotions.
" The SS man, in the fraction of a second between two succesive crossings, with a glance at one's back and front, judges everyone's fate, and in turn gives the card to the man on his right or his left, and this is the life or death of each of us." (pg. 128)
The reason I felt familiar to context was because the processing of selecting seemed a lot like lottery. It didn't matter if a man was nice or if the man was mean ... the man was given a 50/50 chance of being chosen to die or live. It's like flipping a coin, and whatever side comes out, you die or you live. This leads me to the question: who were they to determine the life and death of another human being?
Journal Entry 14
March 11, 2007
Chapter 14. Kraus
He does not yet know that it is better to be beaten, because one does not normally die of blows, but one does of exhaustion, and badly, and when one grows aware of it, it is already too late. He still thinks..." (pg. 132)
Primo Levi said that Kraus would have been a good boy as a civilian. Kraus was a hard-working hungarian boy. His ignorance toward what was smart and not smart to do in Auschwtiz eventually lead him to his graveyard - or atleast that is what Primo Levi had predicted. The passage above shows the inhumane conditions of the camp, and I felt bad. If you are a diligen worker in the society right now, you notified and acknowledged. However, in Auschwitz, that would have been an insane imagination. This once again gave me the image of Auschwitz as an alienated planet - something that was outside of the world. Everything in the camp seemed to go against the standard of the world. What was considered evil in the world was switched around to 'good' and most saddest of all: life was worth nothing.
My dad spanked me only up till I was in 4th grade, and afterwards he never even attempted to punish me with a stick. I remember crying so hard when I was young, and how much I hated dad for spanking me. It hurt and I knew I did something wrong. Now that I come to think of it, I am thankful that I was disciplined as a kid. But I wonder what it would have been like if I was hit for no reason. The men in Auschwitz were literally abused. There wasn't any particular reason for being beaten up, and I bet they were hit a million times stronger than how my dad had spanked me. This is something that is unimaginable for me. This time period, Holocaust, was more than an abuse, but it was atrocity. Through the chapter, I was able to rethink of the cruelty men can be on another human being.
Chapter 14. Kraus
He does not yet know that it is better to be beaten, because one does not normally die of blows, but one does of exhaustion, and badly, and when one grows aware of it, it is already too late. He still thinks..." (pg. 132)
Primo Levi said that Kraus would have been a good boy as a civilian. Kraus was a hard-working hungarian boy. His ignorance toward what was smart and not smart to do in Auschwtiz eventually lead him to his graveyard - or atleast that is what Primo Levi had predicted. The passage above shows the inhumane conditions of the camp, and I felt bad. If you are a diligen worker in the society right now, you notified and acknowledged. However, in Auschwitz, that would have been an insane imagination. This once again gave me the image of Auschwitz as an alienated planet - something that was outside of the world. Everything in the camp seemed to go against the standard of the world. What was considered evil in the world was switched around to 'good' and most saddest of all: life was worth nothing.
My dad spanked me only up till I was in 4th grade, and afterwards he never even attempted to punish me with a stick. I remember crying so hard when I was young, and how much I hated dad for spanking me. It hurt and I knew I did something wrong. Now that I come to think of it, I am thankful that I was disciplined as a kid. But I wonder what it would have been like if I was hit for no reason. The men in Auschwitz were literally abused. There wasn't any particular reason for being beaten up, and I bet they were hit a million times stronger than how my dad had spanked me. This is something that is unimaginable for me. This time period, Holocaust, was more than an abuse, but it was atrocity. Through the chapter, I was able to rethink of the cruelty men can be on another human being.
Journal Entry 15
Chapter 15. Die drei Leute vom Labor
"I am not even alive enough to know how to kill myself," Levi said. (pg.144)
I can almost feel Levi's agony as he reflects back to the time when he was a free man. Auschwitz was not only a place where men were stolen of their freedom, but it was also a place where men were drained from their soul. Although part of Levi still wanted to be to be a free man, it was hard for him to resist the pain of remembering it. How far had Levi's mind and soul become detached from the world, that rememberance of such freedom brought him shame and horror. The fact that he was able to work in the labarotory was lucky, but yet frightful. Since he knew he didn't have to work in the cold and suffer from the labor, the 'humanness' of him was starting to come back. And Levi felt uncomfortable. This is ironic because the two emotions are contradicting. If I had the opportunity of working in the labarotory in Auschwitz, I would have taken the job without hesitation. I wonder what it was that made Levi feel this way ...
(This chapter is the rising action toward the climax. )
"I am not even alive enough to know how to kill myself," Levi said. (pg.144)
I can almost feel Levi's agony as he reflects back to the time when he was a free man. Auschwitz was not only a place where men were stolen of their freedom, but it was also a place where men were drained from their soul. Although part of Levi still wanted to be to be a free man, it was hard for him to resist the pain of remembering it. How far had Levi's mind and soul become detached from the world, that rememberance of such freedom brought him shame and horror. The fact that he was able to work in the labarotory was lucky, but yet frightful. Since he knew he didn't have to work in the cold and suffer from the labor, the 'humanness' of him was starting to come back. And Levi felt uncomfortable. This is ironic because the two emotions are contradicting. If I had the opportunity of working in the labarotory in Auschwitz, I would have taken the job without hesitation. I wonder what it was that made Levi feel this way ...
(This chapter is the rising action toward the climax. )
Journal Entry 16
Chapter 16. The Last One
What are men capable of doing ...
This chapter makes me wonder again ... "Exactly to what extent are men capable of or incapable of doing something?"
I think this question was answered in this chapter. The man who revolted had a limit to what he was able to do, but he still fought boldly. The SS men who put him on trial and killed him were ignorant, which again shows the extent of what men are able to do ... Who are we to have the rights to kill someone else's life? Who are we to judge others?
Every men has limits, and sometimes I wonder, if the Germans knew what they were doing ...
If truly the SS soldier did not have ANY symapathy for the 6 millions Jews who were murdered in Auschwitz, I believe they were the one's who were considered 'inhumane'. So far, I have referred to Jews and other prisoners in camp as being detached from the real world, but now it seems as though the real people who were deprived from 'reality' were the SS men and the Aryan race. They were the people who were truly blinded from what's real.
What are men capable of doing ...
This chapter makes me wonder again ... "Exactly to what extent are men capable of or incapable of doing something?"
I think this question was answered in this chapter. The man who revolted had a limit to what he was able to do, but he still fought boldly. The SS men who put him on trial and killed him were ignorant, which again shows the extent of what men are able to do ... Who are we to have the rights to kill someone else's life? Who are we to judge others?
Every men has limits, and sometimes I wonder, if the Germans knew what they were doing ...
If truly the SS soldier did not have ANY symapathy for the 6 millions Jews who were murdered in Auschwitz, I believe they were the one's who were considered 'inhumane'. So far, I have referred to Jews and other prisoners in camp as being detached from the real world, but now it seems as though the real people who were deprived from 'reality' were the SS men and the Aryan race. They were the people who were truly blinded from what's real.
Journal Entry 17
Chapter 17. The Story of Ten Days
CLIMAX OF THE STORY is show by simply this one quote,
" It was the first human gesture that occured among us. " (pg. 160)
This quote didn't surprise me as much. I was actually expecting it, in some ways ...
After chapters and chapters of Primo Levi writing about how living in Auschwitz wasn't a life, I was hoping for when this kind of quote would appear.
I wondered if we could relate this quote to our society. Levi seems to be implying the 'human gesture' as the kind or the generous act of someone to somebody. Although our society may not be as torturous and violent as were the Germans, we definitely have different degrees of being cruel to others. It may not require killing six millions of Jews, but it's just the little fights and arguments that can portray our darkness.
Noticing - this also seems to be a problem. I'm not saying everyone does this, but many of us tend to notice the bad things that people did to us. We tend to unnotice or forget the good nature of people. I wonder if this is because we don't care much about it. Pain lasts longer is someone's mind that gladness, and it some ways, this is ironic.
CLIMAX OF THE STORY is show by simply this one quote,
" It was the first human gesture that occured among us. " (pg. 160)
This quote didn't surprise me as much. I was actually expecting it, in some ways ...
After chapters and chapters of Primo Levi writing about how living in Auschwitz wasn't a life, I was hoping for when this kind of quote would appear.
I wondered if we could relate this quote to our society. Levi seems to be implying the 'human gesture' as the kind or the generous act of someone to somebody. Although our society may not be as torturous and violent as were the Germans, we definitely have different degrees of being cruel to others. It may not require killing six millions of Jews, but it's just the little fights and arguments that can portray our darkness.
Noticing - this also seems to be a problem. I'm not saying everyone does this, but many of us tend to notice the bad things that people did to us. We tend to unnotice or forget the good nature of people. I wonder if this is because we don't care much about it. Pain lasts longer is someone's mind that gladness, and it some ways, this is ironic.
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